Crazy Grany ?

Soo, this evening I was watching "Rumour Has It" which is the rip from the graduate. If you watched to the end and saw a little bit of the credits, the grand ma grabs the guys ass.

Definately the best part of the movie. When I saw that I immediately wondered if I was going to be the crazy old granny when my brother's children grow old. Heck, I'm already her, just without the silk blouses and the smoking. In a way I somewhat aspire to become that, as it seems it would be well within possibility, and on another hand, no matter how many novels I read or movies I see, the same thing always holds true for this particular character; they drink heavily and know more about real life than anyone else in the family. That being said, they almost always have a great deal of tragedy within their own, or hold great gief.

Somehow I don't think that's what I want for myself - To live a life of fabulous mistakes and regrets. I don't have much to regret right now, or at least not anything of importance, and I would very much like to keep it that way. Although I'm more than willing to make the mistakes. Ya gotta learn boudaries somewhere - and lord knows my family didn't teach me much about the real world or the people in it, so I have to learn it for myself. Mistake after fucked up mistake.

I was talking to Pat not long ago, and I was saying to him, I'm at the point where the average lonely persone would say to themselves that they need to fall in love. Thinking to themselves that's what's missing in their lives. I've accepted being single and somewhat lonely as a part of who I am and who I have become. I AM that wonderfully whitty and perfectly conversational persone whom you want to always invite out to dine or drink. Unfortunately when I attend these things everyone is married, engaged or at the very least seriously sleeping with someone. I can only imagine me bringing everyone I was sleeping with to a dinner party ?! Now that would be something to behold. I could almost charge admission for people to attend.

As an alternative to having a +1, I was thinking of self fulllfilment in some way. Or learning to better ascert myself for myself, since I usually ascert for other people and to my own detriment. So something like kick boxing was an option. I would get fit, and learn a valuable skill, and also get some disciplined training of some sort, and I think it might teach me focus. Not to mention add to the long list of reason why people should fear me. But that's another story.

Not so similar ... ?

So, I'm having an introspective day today. Brace yourselves.

For some time now I've been noticing that I don't seem to see/perceive things the same way as most. Or I don't understand things the same way. Things Feel different to me than other people. It's disconcerting when a friend and I could see or listen to the same thing and I end up traumatised or end up stuck in a strange head space for a while and the persone I'm with has no idea what's the matter. Not the easyest thing to explain to someone.

Some people have told me it's because reed heads have magical tendancies - which I suppose could be an interesting avenue to explore. From what I understand there are quite a few cultures that have lore and mythology surrounding red headed people in some shape or form. But am I really willing to accept that I'm like psyshic or something ? I think that may be a stretch.. (Although it may explain why people have this strange desire to tell me all about themselves and their most intimate secrets after only having known me for a short while.)

Then I have this need to be exploited and to be pushed harder then I thought woud normally be possible. Most of the time it's my own doing since I very seldome find things that will challenge me in any real way. I was actually pondering going into the army and having them push me really hard and see how well I could do. I like the idea of challenges on a scale. They start small and get harder. I despise monotony. Thinking that if there was one place where they could have demanding programs that would be the place. OR possibly get into a really cool program.

I know I could do more with my life, I just have to figure out what that might be...
I have the potential ....

Short Shorts!

Figure today I should get some cleaning done since I haven't done any hadcore cleaning in a while. But what to wear? Heh - you guessed it. Short Shorts ! And why not ? I can clean my rediculously large bath tub without getting my pants wet and run arroudn teh house like a mad man without getting too warm, as summer is definately here - hot as fuck out.

Throw a tank on and turn up the music and make magic happen!
Or at least that's the plan. Who knows what I'm likely to do instead of clean as it's already 2pm and I have yet to do anything. The clichet "Young, dumb, and full of cum" comes to mind for some reason. Must be the shorts talking.

Addiction..

For some reason I can't seem to be able to stop eBaying. It's unreal!

For the most part I seem to be shopping for underwear... so I suppose that the underwear addiction may be the root of the problem since it's easyer than going out to every single store in town to buy underwear and not find what you want when you can go online and find something you DO want and also get a good deal on it and also get it delivered to your door to BOOT!.

I suppose it may be for lack of a 'plus one' (ie: boyfriend) so I take comfort in good quality underwear betwene my legs instead. Not to say I go without any play... Most of you who know me should know better. Still not sure how I manage to do it, but I do! I guess good friends can fill in where you need a little comfort in the mean while I suppose.

OR VODKA!

But that's another story...

Wasted day

Got home late last night comming home from the club with James after leaving him in a storm. Sorta feel bad about that since i don't think he knew what hit him. Got up at 8am this morning to watch cartoons. And by 8am I mean noon and by cartoons I mean porn.

Getting my ass in gear - I have tons of laundry to be doing; so that's slowly happening. Amanda's out of town for the week, which is nice. Get to sorta just shill out for the week and do whatever I want since she's not here. Maybe I should throw and orgy in my living room... Maybe I should get curtains first

Not sure what i'll be up to this week since i've done a lot of it now, and I have to wait for my Scholl application to go through before I can do more paperwork. Keep thinking I should go out and have sex, but I keep having bad sex. I keep wondering if bad sex is better than no sex ?

This whole blog thing is definately a work in progress. Harder than I thought it would be. I seem to be learning to reformat my entire page through code.. what a pain. I'll have to get back to this a little later.

Ehhr - Dr. T

Music: Jeremy Camp's Open up your eyes, from the Narnia Soundtrack.

So once again the family is making me have dinner with Dr. Tellier (my uncle). I have to go and have dinner with him so my mother calls him and talks to him about some family shit she's been meaining to speak to him about but just didn't have the balls to. So Basically it's a tradeoff. At least I'm getting a meal out of the deal.

Just watched So You Think You Can Dance Amanda taped for me. I always get a kick out of the audition shows for these reality show things. It's sorta nice to see people with a passion and going for it full force. Although it's also just great to see some of these people break their nose or throw up or falll down and such, since they really do it with such grace... HAH

Looking at the last post I made... wondering if I'm going to regret putting that picture in. Guess we'll see. It could have been worse. Meh.

Oye - here we go...

Well I never thought I would see the day where I would end up posting one of these. Lord only knows who reads these things but HEY - if it keeps me out of trouble, why not ?

Not sure if there's going to be a purpose to this blog, but I'm sure it'll get some use as the days go by.

I figure it'll be a good place to vent about random shit and such. Be forewarned that I may be offencive.. lol